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| Initial reactions toward an HIV positive
diagnosis can vary drastically for different people. Emotions
of anger, shock, horror, disbelief, denial or even indifference
are very much the norm, as with other situations where sad news
is conveyed and received. A constant reminder is that a positive
diagnosis is NOT A DEATH SENTENCE. A positive person can and
should anticipate a long and healthy life for years to come.
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- When you first receive the news, it is advisable not to
immediately rush out and tell everybody about it or commit
any major life changing decisions, such as quitting your
job or leaving your spouse/partner.
- It would really help if you could take a few days off
to relax and de-stress yourself. Your doctor should be able
to provide you with a medical certificate for some 'off'
time if you need it.
- If you do want to discuss with your partner, friends or
family about your diagnosis, think first about how they
might react and whether they would be willing to empathize
and provide the kind of support that you might need.
- A circle of HIV positive friends could be a good source
of support. If you are not sure how your partner, friends
or family will react to the news, consider talking to your
doctor, counselor or a peer support worker at your local
HIV/AIDS organization.
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| Click
here to find out about local HIV/AIDS organizations near
you |
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- It is useful to make a follow-up appointment to see your
doctor in the next few days.
- You may have more questions or want more information in
a week's time.
- Start making a list of any questions that you could think
of in the next week or two. Some people also decide to undergo
another HIV test in the week or two following their diagnosis
to be sure that the initial test result is accurate.
- It is important to develop a good relationship with your
doctor. You have the right to ask questions and make decisions
about your health. If you do not feel comfortable seeing
your doctor for any reason whatsoever, talk to them about
your concerns. You must be able to trust your doctor and
feel comfortable about meeting up with them. Having a good
and comfortable relationship with a doctor that you can
trust is important in managing your life as an HIV positive
person.
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There is no need to rush out and
tell people straight away
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Make a follow-up appointment to
see your doctor in a week or two
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Come up with a list of questions
and concerns so that you will remember to ask them the
next time you see your doctor
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| A few weeks after you received your diagnosis,
it is advisable to go back and consult your doctor. You may
have a list of questions ready or you might want to undergo
another test to make sure your initial test results were accurate.
If your doctor recommends treatments, remember that you do not
need to make any decisions on the spot. Ask questions and try
to learn as much as you can before making any major decisions.
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- A few weeks after the initial news, some people notice
they start to feel negative about themselves.
- If you start feeling like this, try to do nice things
for yourself.
- If you haven't told anyone yet, have another think about
the people in your life that you can trust and will support
you.
- If you can't think of anyone you can tell or if it still
seems a bit too soon, consider talking to a counselor at
your local HIV/AIDS organization. They may also help you
work out who to tell and how to tell them.
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| Click
here for a list of local HIV/AIDS organizations near you |
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- It can help you stay focused if you set some short-term
goals. These goals might change over time. There are various
things that you can do to help yourself through this. Maybe
you can take up a new hobby (such as gardening, reading
ant etc).
- If you're in a relationship and haven't told your partner,
husband or wife yet, you might like to think carefully about
how and when to broach the subject. A social worker, doctor
or an HIV counselor can help you through this and assist
with any questions that might arise.
- You could suggest that your partner seek help via a counselor
at a local HIV / AIDS organisation if they are having trouble
coping with the news or would like to meet other people
with similar experience.
- If your partner, friends or family are questioning any
changes in your behavior lately, try not to panic. It can
help if you come up with a believable story that will keep
them at bay, until you're ready to share the news.
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Ask questions and try to learn
as much as you can before making any major decisions
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Set some short term goals
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Try to do nice things for yourself
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| As time passes, you may be more comfortable
with the news or you may feel a little unsure. You may still
feel the shock, anger, guilt, shame and/or depression. These
feelings are completely normal and for most people, things do
improve over time. |
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- With time, many people feel they would be in a better
position to start making decisions about work, goals and
relationships.
- Some people decide to make major changes while others
are happy to continue as they are.
- If you have been seeing a counselor, attending a peer
support group, talking to a social worker, your partner,
friends or family, it's good to keep on talking - even if
you are feeling a little better.
- Issues might crop up over the coming weeks or months and
you may be in a better position to work through these issues
if you keep on communicating.
- Your doctor will probably want to see you again after
a few weeks to check on the virus's progress and your immune
system's status. It's good to get into a pattern of regular
health monitoring and evaluation.
- Hopefully, by now, you would have developed a good relationship
with your doctor.
- If you have started a treatment regime, assess whether
it is working for you. Have you made the right choice? Are
the side effects subsiding? Does the treatment schedule
and method fit into your lifestyle? If not, you might want
to consider changing to a more suitable treatment routine.
- Always discuss with your doctor all your concerns about
treatment, so as to enable you to make an informed decision.
- Regardless of whether or not you are on treatment, talking
to other positive people about their experiences can help
you with various things such as starting
treatment, adherence (sticking with treatment), and side
effects.
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Regular health monitoring can help
you manage HIV
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Talk to other positive people about
their experience with treatment
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| It might be helpful to take the time and
think about how people might react to your news. Ask yourself:
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- Who can I trust with the information that I am HIV positive?
- Will they offer me support?
- Will they judge me?
- Will they respect my confidentiality?
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| Once you have decided whom to tell, you
might find it useful to let them know about the other people
that you have also conveyed the information to, so that they
can also support each other. |
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| You
have to disclose your HIV status to: |
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- Your friends
- Your employer
- Your colleagues
- Every doctor, dentist or other health care professionals
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| If you are in a relationship with someone
who is HIV negative, you may want to tell the person about your
condition. It is perfectly normal to feel uncomfortable or anxious
about your partner's reaction to the news. There is no easy
way to do this and there are no set rules. It would help a lot
to have your doctor or HIV counselor's support as and when you
decide to inform your partner. |
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| Your partner, husband or wife might also
want to consider undergoing the test for HIV, especially if
you and your spouse have been having sex without condoms or
sharing any injecting equipments. Despite all the fears and
anxiety that you might experience initially, many people have
found that they do receive plenty of support when they share
the news with others. In some cases, it might even strengthen
your relationships. |
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| If you have children, you might find it
hard to decide about the right time to inform them about your
condition. You might not even want to tell them about it at
all. Some people have found that talking to other HIV positive
parents can be very helpful towards making this decision. |
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| Click
here to find out about +ve groups or organizations near
you |
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| Although you are not obliged to tell anyone
about your status, the Ministry Of Health's policy requires
that you tell your sexual partner(s) even if or when you intend
to have safe sex. |
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| Click
here to find out about your rights as a Person Living with
HIV/AIDS (PLWHA) |
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